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Gyvenimas nėra paprastas. Net jei ir visų didžiųjų gyvenimo uždavinių sprendimai būna tokie paprasti. Juos priimti ir įgyvendinti nėra paprasta. Tai yra ir viltis, bet kartu ir amžinas mūsų (tiesa, ir mano) pasiteisinimas. Kaip sako: „Lengva Tau kalbėti“. Taigi ir kalbu, kad jau lengva.
Kartą per ketverius metus „gauname“ papildomą dieną – Vasario 29-ąją. Nors tai apgaulinga, tačiau puikus paminklas – kiekviena diena yra „vasario 29-oji“. Tai yra, kokia bebūtų data kalendoriui – kiekviena diena yra dovana. Čia galima prisiminti jau tiek daug kartų ištartą šūkį carpe diem. Šitam šūkiui pagal jo kūrėjų idėją visai nepritarčiau – man tai, kartą esu sakęs platesniai auditorijai, primena „skabymą“ neprinokusių obuolių kartu nulaužiant ir obels šakelę. Ir medis nukankintas ir vaisius nenaudingas – sunaikintas.
Ką noriu pasakyt? Tai, kad neverta „skabyti“ dienų – yra, kas ir taip už Jus Jūsų dienas „nuskabo“. Jei sąmoningai iš savęs neatimsi savo laiko – nespėjus susimąstyti iš Tavęs jis bus atimtas. Tik pagalvok kiek laiko prašvaistome internete (na, bent jau aš tai net ir turėdamas gerą krūvą darbų vis tiek sugebu jo prašvaistyti į valias). Tavo dienos vagys neretai pasislepia po įvairiom kaukėm: „man reikia pailsėti – pasižvalgysių facebook“, „jau pavargau nuo visko, o darbų tiek daug, geriau peržiūrėsiu parpūstą filmą“ etc. Tai nėra blogi dalykai savaime, bet tenka pripažinti, tai yra „vagių“ kaukės. Yra ir kitokio pobūdžio – kada per nuožmias pastangas, kuo tinkamiau išnaudoti laiką, šitas „vagis“ vagia laiką, kurį turi skirti tam, kad peržiūrėtum savo sąžinę. Paprastai tariant – išsišluotum savo vidinį kambarį. Susergi nenumaldomu aktyvizmu (simptomas: nei kažką tikrai vertingo nuveiki, nei laisvo laiko turi).
Vagis, kuris ruošiasi pavogti iš Tavęs dieną, kurios nesiruoši pats iš savęs atimti, nuolat keičia kaukes. Bet išsiduoda vienu bruožų – tai, kam jis panaudoja iš Tavęs pavogtai dienai, yra skirta Tavo savimeilei paglostyti. Gali būti, kad net aš pats rašydamas šį tekstą esu apgautas šio vagies. Gali nuskambėt itin nepopuliariai dabar, kai taip svarbu prasmingai save realizuoti. Bet kartais savirealizacija gali aplenkti pareigas, kurias atlikti yra labai svarbu. O, pavyzdžiui, man rašant šitą tekstą lengvai gali taip nutikti. Stengiaus, kad taip nebūtų.
Atimti iš savęs, tai reiškia – aplenkti šitą vagį. Kažką tikrai vertingo atimdamas, jauti tą praradimo skausmą, ar skausmelį, na, bent jau trūkumą, tačiau įgyji galimybę dovanoti. Jei atimi iš savęs dieną ir ją dovanoji kitam (įvairiausiais dalykais), padovanoji tikrą dovaną – nuoširdžiai (tai reiškia „gabalą“ širdies atiduodi. Juk skauda, kai pagalvoji!).
Man lengvai bekalbant tikrai nėra paprasta tą daryti. Bet kokia yra palaiminta žmonių bendruomenė (Bažnyčia, tauta, šeima, etc.), kurios nariai įvaldo šitą meną! Taip, galima daryt ir čia rimtų klaidų, nes, kaip sakiau, vagis taip gudriai keičia kaukes. Atimk iš savęs ir duok kitam, nes arba greit neliks to, ko neatėmei, arba iš Tavęs atims koks komunizmas arba Robinas Hudas. Ir vienu ir kitu atveju prarasi šansą padaryti gerą.
Lengva pasakyti, sunku padaryti.
Teksto idėją įkvėpė Gabriel Bunge knyga „Akedija. Evagrijaus Pontiečio dvasinis mokymas“
10 – paspausk ir pagirk!
O kodėl užkabutintas „skabyti“ kaip netaisyklingas? Nei LKŽ, nei VLKK nėra jokios informacijos, kad jis netaisyklingas/nevartotinas.
Kažkada gavau pastabą už šitą žodį pavartotą, o patikrint žodynuose neišbandžiau. Pasirodo reikėjo. Ačiū!
Įdomiai, ačiū